WQWWC #49: Silence

hush, my dear, hush
I kept my silence
longer than I thought
but then things are
bubbling up inside
they’ve got to be released
or else I pop or crack up
you said things won’t change
you said you won’t ever leave me
you said you love me no matter what
you said a lot of things
things that made me tingle
things that made me melt
but oh, how naive I could be
I thought you won’t hurt me
I thought you won’t leave me
I thought things would be the same
let me tell you this right now
I cried, I felt the pain and hurt
and then time helped me to move on
I knew it wasn’t my loss, it was yours

Tahimik, mahal ko, tahimik
Pinanindigan ko ang aking katahimikan
Mas mahaba kaysa sa aking iniisip
Ngunit pagkatapos ng mga bagay
Kailangan kong ilabas ang nasasaloob ko
Kundi ay puputok ako o masisiraan ng bait
Sinabi mo na hindi ka magbabago
Sinabi mo na hindi mo ako iiwan
Sinabi mo na mahal mo ako kahit ano pa
Maraming bagay-bagay ang sinabi mo
Mga bagay-bagay na nakakanginig
Mga bagay-bagay na nakakatunaw
Ngunit wala akong kamuwang-muwang
Akala ko hindi mo ako sasaktan
Akala ko hindi mo ako iiwanan
Akala ko ay hindi ka magbabago
Hayaan mong sabihin ko sa iyo ngayon
Ako ay lumuha, nakaramdam ng sakit at nasaktan
Pasalamat sa oras at panahon, humupa na sila
Masakit pa rin pero kaya kong tanggapin
Alam ko na hindi ako ang nawalan, kundi ikaw

Sketches and obfuscate words
Evanescent meaning
Capture our patience like crosswords
Underneath our dreaming
Stars and moon are our witness
Test of our cerebral fitness
Stars and moon
Stars and moon
Litmus test for they’re so fearless

Sketches and obfuscate words
Grafitti more or less
Faith of a soldier’s passwords
Breaking silence I guess
Hours spent not to lose meaning
Verecund voice good for dreaming
Hours spent
Hours spent
Deeper meaning heart convening

Sketches and obfuscate words
They’re crying out softly
Waking up by the sound of birds
Listen to them warmly
Do they carry weight or ignore?
Do we see the world like before?
Do they carry?
Do they carry?
Do we clean them up or want more?*

(c) ladyleemanila 2020

* The Trijan Refrain

In this technicolour but sometimes Stygian world, I feel inept of handling things. The confusion and betrayal make me frustrated and lonely. The silence of the moon geminates some sour events into words. However much it grates on my nerves, something in the back of my mind tells me to leave it as it is. I make the whirling world stand still. Sometimes I feel like a torsional puppet being manipulated. Very rare that I resort to drinking razorwine. Without you, my world is empty. Ah, the grim realities of life.

There’s a barely controlled abandon, and more than a hint of anxiety that once the act of inscription has begun, it can’t be undone. The scars were there, along with the stench of betrayal. In the silence of the sea, I could pretend to fly, to get away from this demanding world. My scarlet heart bleeds, with lament in verse. But as I looked around me on this golden hour, with the clear sky, the refreshing breeze, birds flying in the air, I knew there’s still hope. I should put my shoes on and start treading again. I should play the game of life and have fun again. Nothing could hold me back.

Silence is when I hear myself think
Think and do things in peace
Peace of mind and everything’s right
Right place and I get there in one piece

Comfortable silence or silent screaming?
Screaming especially on horror movies
Movies echoing my frustration and fear
Fear of the unknown and oh so gloomy*

(c) ladyleemanila 2019

** Loop Poetry

The place where silence had a voice
Where one hears the quiet by choice
Look at the keyhole and one froze
Swaying rejoice, swaying rejoice

Phantoms of the past all creeping
Menace of pain when sleeping
Time for crying or for cheering
Welter feeling, welter feeling

Rope of hope against a calm sea
Silhouettes of birds as they flee
The sun winking and full of glee
Along the quay, along the quay***

(c) ladyleemanila 2019

*** Monotetra

The ground beneath my feet begins to crumble
I’m left with nothing to hold on to, null
I have to admit, I have lost the battle

You are there, so far away, unreachable
I say this, you say that, misunderstanding
Causing pain in the heart and soul, shattering

For what I’ve done, I’m blameful
The world is against me, my fight is extinguished
You have abandoned me, the one I cherished

Forget the pain and move on, as I mull
I’ve learned my lesson, time to rise again
Rainbows and sunshine, all beyond my ken

There’s still hope, do what I’m able
Count my blessing and prove my worth
Try and do my best being part of this earth

For: https://alwayswrite.blog/2021/11/17/wqwwc-49-silent-as-a-falling-leaf-thoughtful-as-a-man-with-a-dream/